I may be alone on this subject but I prefer to watch hockey alone, in my house with just my wife around. Well, sometimes with her around, depends on her mood, know what I mean?
It seems like every time I invite friends over to watch a hockey game, doesn’t matter who is playing, or they ask me to go out to the bar, I always find myself missing my couch and TV. No, not because I like to be alone, although alone is a good thing sometimes but because I don’t care about anything other than that current game that is on the TV.
I don’t care if it’s Florida vs Columbus and I’m ready to fall asleep or if it’s Philly vs Pittsburgh and I get so hyped up that I want to fight someone, sometimes it turns out to be my cat.
My list goes beyond these 5 reasons but after much thought I consolidated my list to 5 reasons on why I prefer to watch hockey alone.
Reason number five on why I prefer to watch hockey alone. Spilling something on my couch and floor. Go ahead call me a dick, but if you’re not my wife or a close family member you’re not eating on my couch. Countless times I have gone to a friends house to watch a game and every time I have seen a “friend” spill something on their couch. And the next thing you know, the stain is still there after a week or so.
I understand events occur in sports that cause us to jump out of our seats and I’m sure it would be an accident if you spilled something on my couch or floor. But it’s something that will ruin my mood and ruin the game for me, simply because I would have to be the pucker to clean it up AFTER I put down my drink and get up from the game that’s taking place.
Oh, and this did happen to me the other night during a hockey game. Luckily I had some alcohol in me and I wasn’t ready to tear his face into pieces.
Reason number four on why I prefer to watch hockey alone. Talking about something other than the hockey game. Look, you want to talk before the puck is dropped or during a commercial or even during intermission, go ahead, knock yourself out. But don’t talk about how your 2 year old daughter was dancing to “baby got back”. And if you’re one of those guys, have fun when she’s 16. Don’t talk about how your dog chased a squirrel around the back yard just for the dog to eventually run out of gas and sleep the night away. Don’t leave hints about how you pucked your friends girl after they broke up when he’s sitting in the same room.
We are watching a hockey game together, let’s talk about the game or something related to hockey. Heck, even a funny men’s/beer league event that took place would be fine. I don’t know what it is but I constantly run into these so called “hockey fans” and all they want to talk about during the game is something that I don’t give a puck about.
Reason number three on why I prefer to watch hockey alone. Crapping on a player or team just to turn around and praise them. I get it, sometimes players and teams do stuff that make you want to pull your hair out. But don’t sit there and crap on your favorite team and or player then turn around and all of a sudden love them again when they prove you wrong a couple days later.
It’s no secret I am a Flyers fan by heart but I will be the first to tell you that they suck and point out all of their problems. And when they occasionally prove me wrong, I don’t drop to my knees and start “loving” them again. Sure, I have a Flyers sticker on my vehicle, sure I get crap from some hockey fans in the area, but they will be the first to love them again and take back everything bad they ever said about them when the team starts winning.
How many friends do you have that hate a team one day then turn around and love them again after talking crap on them? “They suck, screw this team” two days later “I love this team, they are the best”.
Oh yes, this goes on when I watch hockey with other hockey fans. Doesn’t matter if it’s at my house or at the bar. Either way, it’s pucking annoying.
Reason number two on why I prefer to watch hockey alone. Being a biased hockey fan. I’m a Flyers fan so I watch a lot of Philly/Pitt games and with that comes a lot of biased opinions. I get it, Crosby dived all over the ice in the playoffs one year while playing in Philly, but come on, has he done that stuff since then?
Do you think I really want to sit here and listen to you talk crap on a team the entire game? Do you think I really want to sit here and have to hear your biased opinions on the game? Because 9 out of 10 times you’re wrong, you may not think so, but you are.
Maybe it’s because I bet hockey games for a living and I don’t want your biased opinions clogging my mind. But whatever it is, and if you’re one of these people, you’re the number two reason on why I prefer to watch hockey alone.
Reason number one on why I prefer to watch hockey alone. Changing the channel during a commercial break. This is the most irritating thing when it comes to watching hockey. Doesn’t matter if it’s at home at a friends house or even at a bar. Yes, bartenders here in America have changed a hockey game during an intermission break to put on a basketball game that has no meaning. Unless you like to watch monkeys jump up and down. Then never turn the hockey game back on.
It’s night time and I want to watch hockey and I don’t want to miss a beat. I don’t want you putting on some meaningless basketball game or some reality TV show. Or even the news that’s going to make me depressed.
I’m a huge hockey fan and unlike most fans I want to hear what Keith Jones, Jeremey Roenick and Mike Milbury have to say during the intermission. Believe it or not, these guys know what they’re talking about and it makes me smarter about the game every time these guys talk. So why wouldn’t I want to listen in? And forget about being at the bar, the only thing you’re hearing at those places is obnoxious dance music with the random guy telling the random fat girl how pretty she is.
Really, you’re that desperate to get laid?
Well there it is, my 5 reasons on why I prefer to watch hockey alone. And as I am writing this I am sitting at home, alone, watching game four between the Ottawa Senators and Pittsburgh Penguins. My wife doesn’t count because unlike other females out there, she knows when to stay out of my way when hockey is on. Love ya!
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