It wouldn’t be a hockey season without drama coming out of the Toronto Maple Laffs locker room. I already wrote an article about Dion Phaneough, now let’s take a look at the Maple Laffs as a whole.
Oh well, at least they’re not in last place of the Atlantic Division. That’s the battle cry this season for fans of the Toronto Maple Leafs, who are rapidly getting to be known as the Maple Laffs depending on who you’re talking to at the time.
Despite having tons of young talent, the team seems determined to keep fans longing for the good ol’ days when they were just mediocre. Somehow, someway, no matter how many talented players fall into their lap, the Maple Laffs keep on finding new and even more laughable ways to draw the wrong kind of attention to the team.
The latest gaffe involves forward Nazem Kadri, who’s probably sitting in the team’s locker room waiting to sing “Born Free” on the day he becomes an unrestricted free agent. Yes, once again it’s the Maple Laffs pucking with Nazeem Kadri.
Apparently, Good is Too Good for Toronto
Now we’re beginning to understand how things work with the Maple Laffs. If a guy comes along as a young player and in his first training camp leads the team in goals and assists, along with playing good defense, naturally you don’t want that guy on your team.
Humiliate and ridicule him, that’ll make him buckle down and play terribly. And just for good measure, make sure you do it in front of his family. Might as well go all the way and get the kid’s parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews and any other long-lost relatives hating your guts. That’s sure to get Brendan Shanahan named NHL Executive of the Year in 2015.
Who Wants a Stanley Cup Around Anyway?
Actually, when we see the Maple Laffs pucking with Nazeem Kadri we know the real reason why they’re doing it. No, it’s not to teach him a lesson and make him a better player.
No, the real reason is they just don’t want one of those pesky Stanley Cup trophies cluttering up the place. I mean, they haven’t won the trophy since 1967, and who would want to give up a streak like that?
Nobody wants a streak to reach only 47, but instead would rather see it hit the big 5-0 and maybe even higher. Aim high (or low), I always say.
If It Ain’t Broke, We’ll Break It
The next time you happen to see the Maple Laffs pucking with Nazeem Kadri, just remember it’s all part of the master plan. Apparently, the laws of physics have changed in Toronto.
If it ain’t broke, breaking it will make everything better. And so it goes for the Maple Leafs, Maple Laffs or whoever they are. As fans, we better learn to love the numbers 48, 49, 50 and so on, because they are definitely heading our way. But hey, at least Buffalo, Arizona and Edmonton are even worse than we are. See, there’s hope yet.
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